Who Am I :A reminiscence of Swami Sukhabodhanda's lecture on Adi Shankaracharya's Tattva Bodha:

Adi Shankaracharya talks about all that is truth ( Tattva meaning Truth) in Tattva Bodha:

Quality of a student who is in Pursuit of Truth

He begins the text by talking about the requirements that a student must have to learn about Truth. And the most requisite quality a student must possess, according to Adi Shankaracharya, is the ability to discretize between what is truth and what is not( Viveka:).

The Body, the Mind and the Witness

Swami Sukhabodhananda beautifully goes on to explain about the Ultimate Truth, as expounded by Adi Shankaracharya .

He says in one of his lectures.. There are three things to be kept in mind.. 

The centre of any person is neither his physical body ( the Sthoola Shareera:), nor the Mind ( the Sookshma Shareera:) but the Saakshi ( the witness) to everything around it.. And this witnessing aspect is the Atma..

The Physical Body

The physical body of a person is just possessed by the Atma, the mind in turn is the aspect that creates the Samsara..The Aatma possesses the body, so the body is being possessed, but the possessor is the Aatma, not the body itself.. The mind is being possessed, its possessor is the Aatma, but the mind is not the Possessor.. 

For instance, as can be told to a layman, The donkey is yours.. But you are not the donkey.. Similarly, the body is yours, you are not the body..

The Mind

Swami Sukhabodhananda says, that the spinning mind creates the Samsara.

The mind is constantly on the jump.. It dwells on events that occurred in the past or dwells on what may happen in the future but it often fails to remain in the present..

So what am I?

 When a person identifies oneself with the mind, which is never stable and thinks oneself to be composed of just the mind and the body, the person automatically believes that he is the body. 

But the truth is, according to Adi Shankaracharya, that the person is actually the Witness, neither the mind nor the body.

The Complete and the Incomplete

The spinning mind creates incompleteness... the mind can never be contended and so, the person who associates oneself with the mind or the body alone feels incomplete..

But the person who realises one's centre to be the Witness,  lives in the present.. The present is always complete.. and hence the person is complete.. And being complete translates to being blissful

This philosophy is spoken about in the following verse:

" पूर्णं अत: | पूर्णं इदं |

  पूर्णात पूर्णमुदच्यते |

  पूर्णस्य पूर्नामातय पूर्णमेव अवशिष्यते || "

 That is complete, this is complete

 Remove the Complete from the Complete

 And what remains is the Complete alone

The Aatma and the Paramaatma

And the Atma as defined by Sri Adi Shankaracharya is:

 स्थूल सूक्ष्म कारण शरीरात, व्यतिरिक्त:  सच्चिदानंद:  एव आत्मा ||

Means one that is different from the physical, mental body, that which is always existant in truth and bliss is aatma.

Now the one reason why it is told that an aatma is not different from a Paramaatma is :

1) The Aatma is always a witness as is the Paramaatma

2)The Aatma doesn't have a form as the Paramaatma

3) The Aatma is truth and bliss as is the Paramaatma

So the aatma is not different from Paramatma.. So u are God and God is you.. That is Advaita for you, folks!

So how do I convert Samsaara ( the bounded world) into Nirvana ( Moksha or Freedom)?

So Adi Shankaracharya says, be the Saakshi ( witness) to all that is happening around u.. but do not identify yourself to the periphery.. 

So, how can one identify oneself to be the Saakshi? Remind yourself often, that the body you see is not the real you..The real you is the observer within.. Once this practice becomes a perfection, you may attain the Paramatma's anugraha to be enlightened.

This, folks, is the essence of the Upanishads, the Vedanta and all texts that speak about Advaita.

                                             || Om Tat Sat Iti Brahmaarpanam Astu ||

Mere toh Giridhar Gopal: Sant Meerabai

There are nine ways of showing devotion to the Lord as told in the Srimad Bhagavatam : 1) Shravanam ( Listening) - as exemplified by Maharaja Parikshit- He attained Moksha within 7 days by mere listening of the Srimad Bhagavatam

2)Keertanam ( Singing the praises of the Lord)- as exemplified by Narada and Sri Shuka ( it is told that he sung the Bhagavata in mind-tilting tunes)

3) Smaranam ( Remembering the Lord)- as exemplified by Bhakta Prahlada

4) Paada Sevanam ( worshipping the feet of the Lord)- as exemplified by Lakshmana

5) Archanam ( worshipping the Lord through offerings)- as exemplified by Shabari

6) Vandanam( offering salutations to the Lord)- as exemplified by Akroora

7) Daasyam ( worshipping the Lord assuming one self as his slave)-as exemplified by Hanuman

8)Sakhyam( showing devotion to the Lord considering him as a friend)- as exemplified by Arjuna

9)Atma Nivedanam( showing devotion to the Lord by submitting oneself to Him)- as exemplified by Maharaja Bali

Whatever form of Bhakti one chooses to follow, it ultimately results in complete submission. Hundreds of men and women in our country have tread the Bhakti marga in front of our very eyes .. They are all great souls who deserve our heartfelt salutations . The one Bhakta who impressed me with her devotion was Meerabai.

Born as a Rajput princess in the Rathore Clan, near Merta in Rajasthan, Meera took to adoring the idol of Lord Krishna since a very young age. She assumed that Lord Krishna was her husband.. She sang and danced before the idol, and cooked for it, bathed it and even slept with it.. To her, her Giridhar Gopal meant everything " मेरे तो गिरिधर गोपाल , दूसरो न कोई "।

Her religious tendencies were encouraged by her mother and after her mother died, she was put up with her Grandfather. Their family held the worship of Lord Krishna in high regard and so Meera wasn't interrupted in anyway to carry on with her worship. Her bhajans suggest that she had an in-depth knowledge of music and poetry.

She was married to Prince Bhoj Raj of Chittor, son of Rana Sangha. She still held Lord Krishna her husband and apparently had her idol by her side even on the bridal seat. She refused to worship the family deity and continued to sing and dance in the shrine of Lord Krishna and often met other devotees who came to the shrine. This is was seen as a threat to the female piety, Meera now being a princess of a highly esteemed royal state. After her husband died within three years of the wedding, Meera refused to enter the fire, saying her husband was Lord Krishna. Her activities now seemed quite unacceptable to her husband's family members, and attempts were made to kill her twice as she was now seen as a blot of shame.

She says in one of her Bhajans:

पग घूँघरू बाँध मीरा नाची रे।
मैं तो मेरे नारायण की आपहि हो गई दासी रे।
लोग कहै मीरा भई बावरी न्यात कहै कुलनासी रे॥
विष का प्याला राणाजी भेज्या पीवत मीरा हाँसी रे।
'मीरा' के प्रभु गिरिधर नागर सहज मिले अविनासी रे॥

"Meera dances with the anklets on her feet,

I'm my Narayan's, I'm his slave

The Rana has sent a cup of poison and Meera drinks it happily

People say Meera is mad, and the relations say Meera has betrayed her clan

Meera says Oh my Lord Giridhar, please come and meet me soon"

She miraculously survived all the attempts to murder her. She took to the dangers with a smile, knowing already about them. But her unflinching faith made her ready to face them all.

Inspite of all the negative attitude around her, Meera could only think about her Lord Giridhar. She was ready to face any obstacle, but nothing made her shun her love for Lord Krishna. She left her in-law's place , only to find herself moving out of her own house as well.

Meera began to travel wide and far.. Her lord Giridhar was the only thing she knew. Her bhajans speak for themselves, in volumes about her unparalleled devotion.

Her description about Lord Krishna is fabulous.

बसो मोरे नैनन में नंदलाल।

मोहनी मूरति सांवरि सूरति, नैणा बने बिसाल।

अधर सुधारस मुरली राजत, उर बैजंती-माल।।

छुद्र घंटिका कटि तट सोभित, नूपुर सबद रसाल।

मीरा प्रभु संतन सुखदाई, भगत बछल गोपाल।।

" Stay in my eyes, oh beloved of Nanda

With adorable persona, Dark complexion and magnificent eyes

The nectar providing flute adorning the lower lip, the never fading Vaijayanti Mala on the chest

The bells in the anklet giving beautiful sounds,

Meera's Lord the giver of prosperity and happiness....."

And her pining away to see her Lord is heart rendering:

प्यारे दरसन दीज्यो आय, तुम बिन रह्यो न जाय॥

जल बिन कमल, चंद बिन रजनी। ऐसे तुम देख्यां बिन सजनी॥

आकुल व्याकुल फिरूं रैन दिन, बिरह कलेजो खाय॥

दिवस न भूख, नींद नहिं रैना, मुख सूं कथत न आवै बैना॥

कहा कहूं कछु कहत न आवै, मिलकर तपत बुझाय॥

क्यूं तरसावो अंतरजामी, आय मिलो किरपाकर स्वामी॥

मीरां दासी जनम जनम की, पड़ी तुम्हारे पाय॥

"My beloved, give me Darshan, I am not able to live without you

Just like the Lotus cannot live without water and the Moon without the night,

The same way I cannot live without you.

Anxiety filled in me, I roam day and night

Seperation from you is like Death to my heart.

There's no hunger during the day, no sleep in the night, nothing comes out of my mouth

What do I say, i know nothing to say, satisfy my thirst by meeting me

Why do you test me, O Omnipotent Lord, Have pity, please come and meet me

Meera your slave in all births, falls at your feet"

Her Bhakti has Madhurya Bhava ( the Bhakti as shown by a wife towards her husband) also known as the Nayaka-Nayika Bhava, wherein the Lord is considered the Nayaka and all his devotees his Nayikas.

She is reported to have gone to Vrindavan, the place Lord Krishna is reported to have played in his childhood. During her final days, Meera is reported to have gone to Dwarka. It is believed that Meera disappeared into the idol of the Lord Krishna at Dwarka.

Her bhajans are immortal and are continued to be sung to this day throughout India. Mahatma Gandhi even portrayed her as the Independent woman, who chose her freedom and will and had the strength to live for all that she believed in. Meera, the Krishna Bhaktaa, still lives on..

Why are we losing interest in our rich heritage: An attempt to search an answer on why are we moving away from the Puranas and the Epics!

Puranas were written ages ago.. with the view that people who cannot understand the vedas and the high-end philosophy in the Upanishads can understand the eternal truth.. The problem that lies with us is, the way we interpret it... Because, knowledge is meant to be given to the deserving candidate, not to someone who'll abuse it at its face value..And so, when u listen to a Purana, it wont straight away give you the treasure,.. Its given in the form of stories..Its for you to unravel the treasure behind those stories..

And one main reason why people lose interest in the Puranas is, they dont understand the subtler meanings as spoken by the Rishis.... and the second reason is that, they interpret it wrongly... Remember, all the religions in the world speak of only one thing : The God is in You and You are no different from the Supreme Being, unless you realise it..This is called Advaita (The Non Dual) in Hindu Philosophy .. But its bloodshed throughout the world because everyone has misinterpreted what their respective religions have preached..

Well let me tell u one truth, The Vedas aren't books.. but vibrations that are always existent in space, they have been there, always.. spreading over a time period of Infinity..The Rishis had trained their sense organs to be fine-tuned into that frequency to be able to listen to those vibrations.. Its an up-hill task and not everyone has the will-power, dedication and the discipline involved to fine-tune oneself to those frequencies.. thats the reason why our Rishis stand apart from everyone else.. When this is the eternal truth and truth always has one form.. Every religion cannot speak of different truths... They can speak only one truth and that of Advaita alone.
So, all religions are the same.. This is Sanatana Dharma.. the first thing to be understood by any Hindu..

Let me come to the interpretation part now:
There are 18 Puranas in all,authoured by Maharshi Veda Vyasa,
Two Epics: Srimad Ramayanam by Maharshi Valmiki and Mahabharatam by Veda Vyasa and when Veda Vyasa didn't find contentment even after giving so much to the world, The Divine Sage Narada urged him to write the Srimad Bhagavatam. Each in turn is just an essence of the Upanishads.. simplified in each aspect so that the layman can understand it..

Let me give you one example with the Epics.. because more than the Puranas, we are familiar with Ramayanam and Mahabharatam.. I will take one example which is a common thread in both the epics.. Both the Epics yell themselves hoarse about one thing : Worship the Feminine.. Dont Abuse them..
In Ramayana, Ravana is the anti-hero.. Going in a filmy format.. The anti-hero is interested in the Hero's beautiful wife, kidnaps her against her wishes, tortures her and threatens her in every way to forget her husband and marry him.. But the dutiful wife never submits to the anti-hero's threats, believes in her chastity and husband and curses the anti-hero that his destruction is not far away.. It happened sooner or later... and the destruction came in the form of the hero.. the anti-hero is vanquished and the hero and his dutiful wife are united... Seems like the screenplay for one of the late 1980's movies.. But, can u see the message underlying it: Respect women.. else, destruction will follow u..

Mahabharata is no different... Draupadi is married to the five brothers.. but is insulted and abused in view of the full public because the Pandavas lost her in the game of dice.. Draupadi held that they didn't have the right to stake her as a pawn when the Pandavas have lost themselves.. No one did anything.. She was saved from embarrassment by Krishna Vasudeva even while she was about to be undressed by Duhshasana.... Even then, everyone was mute.. Thats when Draupadi cursed the prepertrators of the crime.. forget about the curses.. but what was the end result??? The entire clan of Kauravas were wiped off in the Kurukshetra war... Seems another big time hit story.. what's the underlying message?? Respect women..

Similarly, Puranas and the Epics have teachings for everyone.. Rama lives as the example for the Ideal Son, Husband and King.. We still talk about Rama Rajya.. Sita lives as the ideal wife... Arjuna as the ideal student and Karna as the ideal friend... these characters lived and they showed how every aspect of human life should be lived..

We believe stories from the US and China when there are accounts or news clippings about " The Man who is unusually ten feet tall or the girl who is just 15 inches tall ( these are forwarded messages i got along with the photos"... But why do we refuse to believe about a man like Kumbhakarna who was extremely gigantic...

Now, lets proceed towards the Puranas..
Shiva Purana talks about the unending column of fire which alighted all the seven worlds.. Brahma flew his swan, to find the beginnig.. and Vishnu as a boar to find its end.. but they cudn't.. Seeing a flower (thazhampoo) fall from the top, Brahma assumed its not very far away and reported that he had won the competition .. hence he is the greatest of Gods.. but, alas, that was not to be.. The Great God Shiva, arrived in front of them as Ardhanareeshwara.. and revealed to them both who he was.. Brahma was cursed hence forth that he wudn't be worshipped in any temple since he was not truthful...
Nice story.. we will start criticising how stupid our gods are.... but my dear fellow.. look at its underlying meaning :
1) U can't achieve anything by being over-confident
2) U are degraded the more you lie
3) Our gods themselves gave 50% reservation to our womenfolk.. but we refuse to include women as our batter half ourselves.. even the Indian Parliament doesn't give so much reservation..
4) U can achieve the status of Godhood, if u strive to be so.. but u lose the status once u let in your internal enemies..

Lets go to Vishnu Purana now.. there's the churning of the Milk Ocean..
assuming you know the story:
here are the underlying messages:
1) Asuras mentioned in the Puranaas are the personification of your internal enemies : The bad qualities
2) The Devas mentioned are your good qualities
3) The Ocean is you
4) When you interospect yourself.. that is churn the ocean with the right guide ( your Guru).. the Devas ( your good qualities) win over the Asuras (your bad qualities) and as a result you get the Amrita or the Divine Nectar, which is the state of self-realization.. means you hav become one with God... means Advaita is proved here again..

So, there are infinite examples staring right in front of you.. all around you all the time, reminding about why u are born, why u are here and where are u supposed to go... The Puranas are meant to guide you in that journey... And trust me, they work.... Its not an exaggeration.. If you are not feeling interested in them its because you dont understand what they speak.. once you do that, you will start looking up to them as your guide...

Not everyone gets the gut feeling to ask questions like what for are the Puranas and what is written in them...You try digging into these Puranas, you will find yourself a changed person...
Hinduism is not a religion, its a way of life.. Tested, Tried and sucessfully proven a number of times by our great ancestors.. So its safe to follow..

May the Gods help us in our endeavour to know more about ourselves!

The Maiden of Eighteen Arms: Ashtaadashabhuja Mahalakshmi, My Goddess

Devi Mahatmyam says :
The Great

Goddess bearing thousands of arms should be worshipped as the One with eighteen arms. The weapons she holds will now be explained to her right side, down onwards:

Akshamaala, the

Lotus, the Arrow, the Kulisha, the Vajra, the Mace, the Discus ( Chakra), the Trident (trishula), the Axe ( Parashu), the Conch ( Shankha), the Bell ( Ghanta), the Noose ( Paashaka:), the Spear (the Shakti), the Danda, the Charma, the Bow ( Chapu), the Bowl containing Soma Paanam ( Paanapaatram), the Kamandalu






I never knew that out of ignorance, I was worshipping the most supreme form of Devi, all this time..but i grew so fond of her, that its impossible to exist without thinking of Her or having Her darshan..
The journey began at a very young age when my grandma, then my mother and my Guru, showed me the way.. and all their hands pointed to only one direction, Amba.. but I learnt how to assure myself and surrender myself to Her from a very unfamiliar but charismatic personality... in short, it was probably predestined that I should enter the privileged ranks to devote myself to Her.. and then began the heavenly experience, starting from the day of Sivaratri of the year 2007...
It became a habit to visit Chennai Om Sri Skandasramam everyday, and probably every regular visitor to the Ashram will know that I would be with Ashtaadashabhuja Amba.. Not one day has passed since then, that I haven't been there..


I laugh with her, and I cry to her.. She's probably the world's greatest solace.. though there are hardly any people who can understand our mutual bond..
I would make it a point to go to the Sannidhi in which she's housed first... for i have to check out her saree.. She's usually draped in an eighteen yards saree , with a simple and long garland.. She often says that she likes Lotuses, so i make it a point to get her Lotuses whenever I can.. And most of the time, we end up being in apparel of the same colour.. Gives a sense of unity, doesn't it?? :D
She would then listen to me patiently as I would go through with her the events of the day.. All commentatories and suggestions will then take place...
And she would then urge me to sing, and when I sing, she's all attention and enjoys it with such joy, that it is evident on her face!! It is after all She who gave me this voice, no doubt she demands me to sing! And why not, we do it with pleasure!!



She would make it a point to forbid me from doing something that would have negative consequences, and the proposals to warn me would be so surprising! Once she told me as soon as I entered the sannidhi " Don't hold grudge against that classmate of yours".. I was transfixed and didn't know why i was told this, but later i realised, how valuable that was..


She is probably the first to congratulate me, over the occurence of something good, and Her Highness will convey her best wishes with a sweet smile, a smile so sweet, that you will realise why she's called Tripurasundari.


Decision making for me is a mere consultation with Her... If she says YES, no force can stop it.. and if its a negative reply, nobody can do anything to make it happen..



She gives me a positive dose of requisite energy when I need it, and you should see, how she will argue to win me over.. that gives the impression that I and She are the only existing souls in the entire universe.. Her only point would be " Dont you trust me? ".. and thats it, finished. I would have nothing to tell her back..



She is patience personified when I'm angry with her.. She'd stand there forever with that smiling face listening to all my outbursts, silly though they may be..
Whatsoever the situation might be, however difficult and trying, she would never send me out without making me happy and contended, and this will be only evident with my smile!


On one occassion, I was advised to get her bangles every tuesday since my father was down with serious illness.. Every time, I went there with the glass bangles, there would be someone waiting readily in the Sannidhi to receive them and tie it on her Hands.. On, the last but one Tuesday, i had taken the bangles with me as usual, and there was no one to take it from me.. I waited and waited, but only in vain.. Tears welled up in my eyes, I didn't know what to do.. So, i decided to keep the bangles on the footsteps of the Sannidhi and return back home..



A few steps away from the Sannidhi, there came a beautiful girl child. I have seen her often, but she never talked to me.. But that day, she came up to me and in her childish accent she asked me with such fondness, " Un kitta valaiyal irukkaa? Enakku tharuviya? ".. I had incidentally bought some extra bangles, and it was in a carry bag.. No way that anyone could have known that i had them.. I had no clue as to how the little girl knew it, and i was surprised to see that she clearly mentioned the bangles with such clear accent, for she was only two and a half years old.



I was so excited, I immidiatly opened the bag, apologised to her that they were bangles of a different size and gave her several bangles.. She carefully took them and examined them and wore them, huge though they were..

I was surprised beyond limit.. and I ran back to the Sannidhi , words failed me and I was dumbstruck.. I prostrated in front of Her, though i could not tell her anything, she would have understood all that crossed my mind!


Amba has promised me that this association will continue for ages to come.. And being with her always has been a sincere prayer on my part... Sri Maatre Namah!

A day at Mokshapuri_ Kanchipuram

My vacation has just begun today and it began with a blast.. with a trip to Kanchipuram..

I had always wanted to visit Devi Kamakshi for a long time.. and my prayers were answered today... My friend agreed to take me to Kanchipuram as she visits the Sri Matham every Thursday... It seemed as if we carried a tinge of luck with us everywhere.. We were able to catch a bus on time... and entering the Matham, Usha Akka ( my friend) started arranging the vegetables she had brought to offer to Bala Periyava... Bala Periyava was late today, and hadn't showed up at the doorstep of his room... Usha Akka asked me to wait with a Karpoora Arathi in hand, to be shown to Periyava's padam, once he appeared... And suddenly the doors opened, and Periyava stood there, beckoning everyone there to come in... We placed the tray of vegetables near Periyava's padam and offered our prostrations.. The Mehta Family had come to get an audience with Periyava, so they were attended first.. after a short wait, we were let in..
I was seeing Periyava the first time in 12 years.. and he asked " Idhu Yaaru?" Usha Akka told Periyava's attendants, " She lives near my place and has got SriVidya Upadesam from Narayana Sastrigal".. Periyava listened to this and asked "who?", I was shaking from head to toe.. and in a meek voice i answered " Pinaiyur Narayana Sastrigal, Periyava".. He told " Yaaru, Ponaiyur aa".. I replied in affirmation.. He asked details about my family, my gothram, my kula deivam and my native place... I told him everything and then he nodded his head.. I told him that my grandmother and my aunt have got purna deeksha from Pinaiyur Periyava.. He exclaimed "Oh!" and offered me his blessings and prasadam ( kunkumam n Akshatani)... and then after prostrations once more, we set off for the Kamakshi Amman Koil..

Luck seemed to follow us here too... We immediately went to the Sannidhi.. i got the opportunity to sing before Amba.. And that was the finest singing experience in my life.. Amba was adorned with a blue/green saree with Yellow border and fresh garlands of Jasmine and Rose.. She smiled as if welcoming a long lost child returning home... I had an intution as if She were telling me " Ah! You are here at last!"... Babu Sastrigal graciously performed our Archana...and as prasadam got a piece of cloth with kunkumam.. Usha Akka was surprised beyond limit.. she kept telling " Not everyone gets a blouse piece as prasadam...I didn't expect this to happen"..

After offering our prayers.. we raced off once more to the Math, to see Periyava do the Chandramouleeswara Puja... and we bought a few watery coconuts to offer it to Periyava.... A few of them were given for the Chandramouleeswara Puja, a few to Mahaperiyava's Brindavanam, and the remaining for Bala Periyava...

I got the opportunity to see Bala Periyava doing the Puja and even the opportunity to sing while the Puja went on.. Usha Akka later told me that Periyava was looking at me once or twice while I sang.While the curtains were down half way through the Puja, we raced off to Mahaperiyava's Brindavanam to do pradakshina.I should say I could very well feel the presence of Mahaperiyava there.I also had the opportunity to look into Mahaperiyava's photos hung all alongside the Birla Mandapam and felt the importance of the legacy and heritage which Mahaperiyava has passed on to all of us.

And after the Puja was over, we met Periyava at the entrance to the Puja Mandapam and offered to him the prasadam from Kamakshi Amman Temple.. He stood by as if to say something but after a few glances, went away to the Adhistanam..
After he finished giving the Theertha Prasadam at the Adhishtanam, he came back towards his quarters, when i offered him the coconuts , he blessed us.. and then after prostration i told him " Uttharavu Vaangikkaren Periyava".. He told " Aagattum"....

We got Chandramouleeswara Puja Prasadam and the Prasadam from the Brindavanam and raced out of the Math to catch a bus back home.. We are surprised as to how, we were favoured by such luck.. A surprising prasadam from Amba and lots of Anugrham from Periyava... And as we talked about it, we realised we had to get off the bus... The best of all vacations in my lifetime was over!! And wasn't that awesome?? :D

The Happiness of being "Alone"

We have a class of people, the "Singles"... the terminology to described people who are not in a so-called relationship.... Trust me.. Luck smiles on them more than it does on others :).. and that includes me! I'm so proud of myself and thank the gods for that! Beg my pardon, i am not criticizing those who are in a relationship.. I assume that is an entirely different experience.. But this is a must !
( ok i wanted to start off with a better introduction, nevertheless.. that wasn't bad) :)
After whining for months, that i apparently have no good friends, not a relationship to boast about.. and being restless and really really uncomforatble about being alone, i succumbed to the pleasure of being alone!
And that is a long story, and i was really unhappy with the prospect of ending up like a dumbo, all alone,.. eating lunch alone, studying alone, praying alone, and doing almost everything alone... hey, lets give it a break.. its not so bad at all... infact much better than the other option... because, you tend to live for yourself, you end up pleasing yourself, enjoying for yourself, and explore yourself...
My friends may now do the honour of asking questions like " How can you talk about your self alone, ( note the alone) when you have been talking about being selfless, and how the culture talks about selflessness, how bad self centredness is... all this while?" (Ok, i agree, its really boring to read so many "self"s all at one go)
But being alone is nowhere related to selfcentredness is... It is a result of being either deserted by "amiable" friends or making a choice of being aloof... You can be alone and yet be selfless.. and that is all together a different philosophy and we can explore that option in another surge of loneliness :P
Being alone is boring initially, its all a matter of getting habituated.. and once you get used to it, it will take some time before u can adjust yourself into a group of sensitive, civilized people!
And ask me the million dollar question, how did i succumb to the pleasure of being alone!
I discovered myself.. i started spending more time for myself and just discovered, i save more of my time, energy and mental agony.. That increased my effectiveness, i became more observent and less talkative,.. and LOTS of time to think.. I do think it is necessary to think to be innovative.. and for that, i need to exhaust my grey matter.. and how do u get to think if u have a friend constantly flooding you with her thoughts!!
A small clarification here.. i do not entirely suggest you need to be alone ALL the time.. but be alone for sometime everyday to get time for yourself, but it does have its own disadvantages, man is a social being ( something that Aristotle had worded ages ago, holds good even today.. Ye Gods! The Eternal Truth!) and careful, you may forget fellow human beings if persistent loneliness is maintained :D

So people, loneliness is not a punishment.. its a god-sent opportunity to get to know yourself.. dont curse it.. welcome it with open arms and make the best use of it!! Amen!! :)