The Maiden of Eighteen Arms: Ashtaadashabhuja Mahalakshmi, My Goddess

Devi Mahatmyam says :
The Great

Goddess bearing thousands of arms should be worshipped as the One with eighteen arms. The weapons she holds will now be explained to her right side, down onwards:

Akshamaala, the

Lotus, the Arrow, the Kulisha, the Vajra, the Mace, the Discus ( Chakra), the Trident (trishula), the Axe ( Parashu), the Conch ( Shankha), the Bell ( Ghanta), the Noose ( Paashaka:), the Spear (the Shakti), the Danda, the Charma, the Bow ( Chapu), the Bowl containing Soma Paanam ( Paanapaatram), the Kamandalu






I never knew that out of ignorance, I was worshipping the most supreme form of Devi, all this time..but i grew so fond of her, that its impossible to exist without thinking of Her or having Her darshan..
The journey began at a very young age when my grandma, then my mother and my Guru, showed me the way.. and all their hands pointed to only one direction, Amba.. but I learnt how to assure myself and surrender myself to Her from a very unfamiliar but charismatic personality... in short, it was probably predestined that I should enter the privileged ranks to devote myself to Her.. and then began the heavenly experience, starting from the day of Sivaratri of the year 2007...
It became a habit to visit Chennai Om Sri Skandasramam everyday, and probably every regular visitor to the Ashram will know that I would be with Ashtaadashabhuja Amba.. Not one day has passed since then, that I haven't been there..


I laugh with her, and I cry to her.. She's probably the world's greatest solace.. though there are hardly any people who can understand our mutual bond..
I would make it a point to go to the Sannidhi in which she's housed first... for i have to check out her saree.. She's usually draped in an eighteen yards saree , with a simple and long garland.. She often says that she likes Lotuses, so i make it a point to get her Lotuses whenever I can.. And most of the time, we end up being in apparel of the same colour.. Gives a sense of unity, doesn't it?? :D
She would then listen to me patiently as I would go through with her the events of the day.. All commentatories and suggestions will then take place...
And she would then urge me to sing, and when I sing, she's all attention and enjoys it with such joy, that it is evident on her face!! It is after all She who gave me this voice, no doubt she demands me to sing! And why not, we do it with pleasure!!



She would make it a point to forbid me from doing something that would have negative consequences, and the proposals to warn me would be so surprising! Once she told me as soon as I entered the sannidhi " Don't hold grudge against that classmate of yours".. I was transfixed and didn't know why i was told this, but later i realised, how valuable that was..


She is probably the first to congratulate me, over the occurence of something good, and Her Highness will convey her best wishes with a sweet smile, a smile so sweet, that you will realise why she's called Tripurasundari.


Decision making for me is a mere consultation with Her... If she says YES, no force can stop it.. and if its a negative reply, nobody can do anything to make it happen..



She gives me a positive dose of requisite energy when I need it, and you should see, how she will argue to win me over.. that gives the impression that I and She are the only existing souls in the entire universe.. Her only point would be " Dont you trust me? ".. and thats it, finished. I would have nothing to tell her back..



She is patience personified when I'm angry with her.. She'd stand there forever with that smiling face listening to all my outbursts, silly though they may be..
Whatsoever the situation might be, however difficult and trying, she would never send me out without making me happy and contended, and this will be only evident with my smile!


On one occassion, I was advised to get her bangles every tuesday since my father was down with serious illness.. Every time, I went there with the glass bangles, there would be someone waiting readily in the Sannidhi to receive them and tie it on her Hands.. On, the last but one Tuesday, i had taken the bangles with me as usual, and there was no one to take it from me.. I waited and waited, but only in vain.. Tears welled up in my eyes, I didn't know what to do.. So, i decided to keep the bangles on the footsteps of the Sannidhi and return back home..



A few steps away from the Sannidhi, there came a beautiful girl child. I have seen her often, but she never talked to me.. But that day, she came up to me and in her childish accent she asked me with such fondness, " Un kitta valaiyal irukkaa? Enakku tharuviya? ".. I had incidentally bought some extra bangles, and it was in a carry bag.. No way that anyone could have known that i had them.. I had no clue as to how the little girl knew it, and i was surprised to see that she clearly mentioned the bangles with such clear accent, for she was only two and a half years old.



I was so excited, I immidiatly opened the bag, apologised to her that they were bangles of a different size and gave her several bangles.. She carefully took them and examined them and wore them, huge though they were..

I was surprised beyond limit.. and I ran back to the Sannidhi , words failed me and I was dumbstruck.. I prostrated in front of Her, though i could not tell her anything, she would have understood all that crossed my mind!


Amba has promised me that this association will continue for ages to come.. And being with her always has been a sincere prayer on my part... Sri Maatre Namah!

A day at Mokshapuri_ Kanchipuram

My vacation has just begun today and it began with a blast.. with a trip to Kanchipuram..

I had always wanted to visit Devi Kamakshi for a long time.. and my prayers were answered today... My friend agreed to take me to Kanchipuram as she visits the Sri Matham every Thursday... It seemed as if we carried a tinge of luck with us everywhere.. We were able to catch a bus on time... and entering the Matham, Usha Akka ( my friend) started arranging the vegetables she had brought to offer to Bala Periyava... Bala Periyava was late today, and hadn't showed up at the doorstep of his room... Usha Akka asked me to wait with a Karpoora Arathi in hand, to be shown to Periyava's padam, once he appeared... And suddenly the doors opened, and Periyava stood there, beckoning everyone there to come in... We placed the tray of vegetables near Periyava's padam and offered our prostrations.. The Mehta Family had come to get an audience with Periyava, so they were attended first.. after a short wait, we were let in..
I was seeing Periyava the first time in 12 years.. and he asked " Idhu Yaaru?" Usha Akka told Periyava's attendants, " She lives near my place and has got SriVidya Upadesam from Narayana Sastrigal".. Periyava listened to this and asked "who?", I was shaking from head to toe.. and in a meek voice i answered " Pinaiyur Narayana Sastrigal, Periyava".. He told " Yaaru, Ponaiyur aa".. I replied in affirmation.. He asked details about my family, my gothram, my kula deivam and my native place... I told him everything and then he nodded his head.. I told him that my grandmother and my aunt have got purna deeksha from Pinaiyur Periyava.. He exclaimed "Oh!" and offered me his blessings and prasadam ( kunkumam n Akshatani)... and then after prostrations once more, we set off for the Kamakshi Amman Koil..

Luck seemed to follow us here too... We immediately went to the Sannidhi.. i got the opportunity to sing before Amba.. And that was the finest singing experience in my life.. Amba was adorned with a blue/green saree with Yellow border and fresh garlands of Jasmine and Rose.. She smiled as if welcoming a long lost child returning home... I had an intution as if She were telling me " Ah! You are here at last!"... Babu Sastrigal graciously performed our Archana...and as prasadam got a piece of cloth with kunkumam.. Usha Akka was surprised beyond limit.. she kept telling " Not everyone gets a blouse piece as prasadam...I didn't expect this to happen"..

After offering our prayers.. we raced off once more to the Math, to see Periyava do the Chandramouleeswara Puja... and we bought a few watery coconuts to offer it to Periyava.... A few of them were given for the Chandramouleeswara Puja, a few to Mahaperiyava's Brindavanam, and the remaining for Bala Periyava...

I got the opportunity to see Bala Periyava doing the Puja and even the opportunity to sing while the Puja went on.. Usha Akka later told me that Periyava was looking at me once or twice while I sang.While the curtains were down half way through the Puja, we raced off to Mahaperiyava's Brindavanam to do pradakshina.I should say I could very well feel the presence of Mahaperiyava there.I also had the opportunity to look into Mahaperiyava's photos hung all alongside the Birla Mandapam and felt the importance of the legacy and heritage which Mahaperiyava has passed on to all of us.

And after the Puja was over, we met Periyava at the entrance to the Puja Mandapam and offered to him the prasadam from Kamakshi Amman Temple.. He stood by as if to say something but after a few glances, went away to the Adhistanam..
After he finished giving the Theertha Prasadam at the Adhishtanam, he came back towards his quarters, when i offered him the coconuts , he blessed us.. and then after prostration i told him " Uttharavu Vaangikkaren Periyava".. He told " Aagattum"....

We got Chandramouleeswara Puja Prasadam and the Prasadam from the Brindavanam and raced out of the Math to catch a bus back home.. We are surprised as to how, we were favoured by such luck.. A surprising prasadam from Amba and lots of Anugrham from Periyava... And as we talked about it, we realised we had to get off the bus... The best of all vacations in my lifetime was over!! And wasn't that awesome?? :D

The Happiness of being "Alone"

We have a class of people, the "Singles"... the terminology to described people who are not in a so-called relationship.... Trust me.. Luck smiles on them more than it does on others :).. and that includes me! I'm so proud of myself and thank the gods for that! Beg my pardon, i am not criticizing those who are in a relationship.. I assume that is an entirely different experience.. But this is a must !
( ok i wanted to start off with a better introduction, nevertheless.. that wasn't bad) :)
After whining for months, that i apparently have no good friends, not a relationship to boast about.. and being restless and really really uncomforatble about being alone, i succumbed to the pleasure of being alone!
And that is a long story, and i was really unhappy with the prospect of ending up like a dumbo, all alone,.. eating lunch alone, studying alone, praying alone, and doing almost everything alone... hey, lets give it a break.. its not so bad at all... infact much better than the other option... because, you tend to live for yourself, you end up pleasing yourself, enjoying for yourself, and explore yourself...
My friends may now do the honour of asking questions like " How can you talk about your self alone, ( note the alone) when you have been talking about being selfless, and how the culture talks about selflessness, how bad self centredness is... all this while?" (Ok, i agree, its really boring to read so many "self"s all at one go)
But being alone is nowhere related to selfcentredness is... It is a result of being either deserted by "amiable" friends or making a choice of being aloof... You can be alone and yet be selfless.. and that is all together a different philosophy and we can explore that option in another surge of loneliness :P
Being alone is boring initially, its all a matter of getting habituated.. and once you get used to it, it will take some time before u can adjust yourself into a group of sensitive, civilized people!
And ask me the million dollar question, how did i succumb to the pleasure of being alone!
I discovered myself.. i started spending more time for myself and just discovered, i save more of my time, energy and mental agony.. That increased my effectiveness, i became more observent and less talkative,.. and LOTS of time to think.. I do think it is necessary to think to be innovative.. and for that, i need to exhaust my grey matter.. and how do u get to think if u have a friend constantly flooding you with her thoughts!!
A small clarification here.. i do not entirely suggest you need to be alone ALL the time.. but be alone for sometime everyday to get time for yourself, but it does have its own disadvantages, man is a social being ( something that Aristotle had worded ages ago, holds good even today.. Ye Gods! The Eternal Truth!) and careful, you may forget fellow human beings if persistent loneliness is maintained :D

So people, loneliness is not a punishment.. its a god-sent opportunity to get to know yourself.. dont curse it.. welcome it with open arms and make the best use of it!! Amen!! :)